Focus On The Good Podcast
Welcome to Focus on the Good — a podcast for women ready to build a life and business rooted in purpose, passion, and peace.
Hosted by Mackenna Dugan — 6-figure elopement photographer, mama of 3, and soulful entrepreneur — this show is for creative women, mothers, and dreamers who want real talk on motherhood, mindset, and starting (or scaling) a passion-based business.
Expect solo episodes, raw personal stories, and grounded tools to help you stay inspired, aligned, and focused on what truly matters.
Subscribe to join a growing movement of women doing life and business differently — with heart, vision, and a whole lot of grace.
#mompreneur #womeninbusiness #spiritualentrepreneur #purposedrivenlife
Focus On The Good Podcast
From Cancer to Purpose: How My Challenges Made Me Stronger.
"I could have jumped off a cliff at that point, if I'm being completely honest, because that's where my head was at. I was in a pretty dark space. And I was like, you know what? No, that's not where this story ends."
Katie Chaffin's life turned upside down when, just weeks after giving birth to her son via C-section, excruciating pain sent her to the emergency room. What began as gallbladder issues revealed something far more serious – a mass on her kidney that would later be diagnosed as cancer. For months, she lived in limbo, caring for her newborn while carrying the weight of her uncertain health future.
This conversation takes us through Katie's remarkable journey of transformation – from leading a thriving real estate team to facing mortality as a new mother, and ultimately emerging with a completely different perspective on life. With raw honesty, she shares how this experience forced her to confront her perfectionism, people-pleasing tendencies, and what she calls the "death of an ego" that had driven her ambition for years.
Katie's philosophy is both simple and profound: "Anything you are not willing to change, you are choosing." Through her story, we explore how this mindset has helped her transform her health through whole foods and exercise, embrace sobriety, set boundaries with toxic relationships, and show up authentically both in business and life. Her 15-year relationship with her husband offers valuable insights into growing together through life's challenges rather than growing apart.
Whether you're facing your own health crisis, navigating a major life transition, or simply feeling stuck in patterns that no longer serve you, Katie's journey reminds us that our response to life's challenges is always our choice. As she powerfully demonstrates, sometimes our greatest struggles become the catalyst for our most meaningful growth.
Be sure to like, subscribe, and follow:
Katie Chaffin: IG & TikTok - @realestatewithkatiee
Mackenna D Photography
All-In Elopements
Focus On The Good Podcast
When everything did happen, right? I could have just been like, you know what, I'm done. I'm done with real estate. I'm done with everything. I could have jumped off a cliff at that point, if I'm being completely honest, because that's where my head was at. Like I was in a pretty dark space. And I was like, you know what? Like, no, that's not where this story ends. Like, I know for a fact if I do not change my mindset right now, that is my choice. If I stay in this negative state, I will forever be that woe is me, pick me, whatever it is. But if I don't make the choice right now and make the change, then I'm just gonna be stuck here forever. So it's just having also too bad positive mindset, be like, I can change. And it's my choice.
SPEAKER_01:Hi guys, welcome to another episode of Folks on the Good. I am your host, McKenna, and today I'm gonna be interviewing the lovely Katie Chaffin. Thanks for joining me today. Yes, I've known Katie literally my like whole life. Um, I actually met Katie when she was dating my brother back in middle school, like forever ago. And um she would always come around the house, and I was younger than my brother, so I just always looked up to you and just you were a bright shining light in my life and always have been. I've always just like looked at you as my bigger sister. And I knew immediately when I started the podcast that you were one of the first people that I wanted to interview because you just have so much light and so much value to share. So I actually wanted to bring up a story. I don't know if you remember this, but when we were in high school, do you remember when I dropped out of high school? No, you don't remember? No, please tell me this is even better. She doesn't even remember. Okay, so I dropped out of high school, my junior year, um, because my grandpa died. And I like was dealing with a lot of stuff and I was like, I'm just gonna do my get my GED or whatever and like try to go that route. And um, I did that for a while. I was pretty unsuccessful at it. I don't, I didn't have the I lacked the will and like the drive to actually complete that. So I was at a party at Justin Torres. Oh my gosh, summit that summer. So I had been like pursuing my GED for like I think three or four months, and I was like supposed to be going into my senior year of high school. And we're at this party and um we're chatting, and you're like, McKenna, you need to go back to school. And I'm like, okay, Katie, I'm trying to hang out right now. And you're like, Makenna, like, you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life if you don't go back and you finish your senior year and you walk and you graduate with your class, like you need to go back. And I was just like, okay, like you know, I was like, you're like my big sister. So I kind of just like wrote you off and like we continued through the night. Like, you're gonna give me more crap or whatever. Yeah, I'm like, okay, Katie, I'm trying to hang out. So, anyways, that stuck with me, like and so much so that I went home and I like cried and worked through my feelings. And I was like, I don't know if I'll actually like I had to be real with myself, right? Yeah. And I was like, I don't think I'm actually gonna graduate if I pursue this GED route. Like, I don't think I'm actually gonna do it. And I think that it started to make me like think about the bigger picture of like, I'm not probably going to graduate unless I go back and like force myself. And I called my counselor at the time and I was like, what do I need? Like, what do I need to go back and like finish out my senior year? And he was like, Well, you gotta take seven classes each semester. You gotta take a morning class, an early bird class, and an after school class, and you have to do X, Y, Z. And I was like, Okay, sign me up. So I probably would not have graduated high school if it wasn't for you. That's incredible.
SPEAKER_00:That actually makes me so happy to hear that too. Because like I was pretty much on like my deathbed when it came to graduating high school myself. Yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, I literally graduated with like a 2.6 GPA, I think it's like a 2.5 that you have to have to graduate. And like literally, the counselor was like, if you do not do this right now, you're not gonna graduate. So like maybe I just saw a little bit of like what happened to me and like was like, you're gonna regret it because I still regret it to this day, like not putting it forward, like with school and stuff like that too. Like I go back for reunions and stuff like that with my choir teacher and stuff like that. I'm like, Do you really? Yes. And she makes fun of me all the time. She's like, I sat you more than you actually sang because of your grades, but I think that it was more so like because of like my home life at the time and stuff too. Like, I just like I know like we have kind of similar stuff kind of with our home lives growing up, but just like when she was like telling me all that, I'm just like, you're so right. If I can go back, and so like maybe it was just like that piece, but I honestly love that story. I didn't know that that was a whole thing. So I love it. It's so crazy.
SPEAKER_01:I think I maybe brought it up to you like once in like our adult life, but um, I was like talking to Jonathan before we were gonna interview today. And I was like, I'm gonna like bring up that story about how she's the reason I graduated high school. And I was like, I wonder if she remembers. I'll never forget it now. That's incredible. I love that so much. I know. So like you really have this been like a huge part of my life. Like, even something like that, which is like I'm gonna say it's like something small, but it's really something so large, like that something you said to me when I was like a young teenager and kind of feeling really lost and not like lacking drive and like a reason to continue, like you sparked something in me. And so that's incredible. I love that so much, of course. Yeah. So I wanted to kind of talk about what I know to be true about you. So when you graduated high school and you were in like a young adult, you started to pursue real estate. Yes. Yeah. So what how old were you when you started?
SPEAKER_00:So I started actually when I had my license, I want to say I was like 2021, but I started before that. Of course, like I was in retail, which is where we learned like the whole grid of everything. Right. But yeah, I was probably like 2021 when everything actually like came into flourish. I had my license started picking up and stuff.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and you like pushed really hard on that. Like, I, you know, as like a bystander, kind of watching your life through social media, I remember thinking, like, oh wow, she has like a lot of drive. Like you went straight into it and just like dove head first. So, like, I want to know that drive, where did that come from? Is that something that you kind of learn? Is that something you picked up, like something you always just had? Like, what has given you the drive to like really go full force into that niche?
SPEAKER_00:I honestly want to say that maybe it was just like me wanting just to always do better. Like, I was always kept wanting to like climb the ladder, I guess you can say. Like I've always started at the bottom and just kind of worked my way up. And I just think that maybe it came from, I don't know, just it might even be like some sort of like insecurity, I guess you can say, like having it where if I wasn't able to do things a certain way, like I wasn't like good enough. So I was like, let me always be like the next best thing to like just keep going and going and going. So it has like how you said, like the ups and downs of everything. Like it was pretty much like I just wanted to like be the best that I could be, just to like prove that I was good enough to a certain extent.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah. Is that something that you still struggle with?
SPEAKER_00:I think so. Yeah. I think I've dialed back a little bit now that I'm a mom and like I don't necessarily care what people think because I think that a lot of the drive to came from I think people pleasing to wanting to be like the shine, my ego. I had a huge ego too, like coming up on everything. So I think it's dialed down a lot, but it's still a little bit in me for sure. Like I want to just be like the best and just be able to show Milo that you could take on anything at any time.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um, something that you had mentioned to me before we started the podcast was about like perfectionism. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Is that something that you still struggle with as well? I definitely still struggle with that. Like, and it's just trying to make sure that I give myself grace with a lot of it. But I have gotten to the point sometimes where I just doubt myself so much that I'm like, I'm gonna quit. Like I literally have to have it absolutely perfect. But I think the biggest thing is done is better than perfect. Yes, like progress is better than perfection. So it's just like making sure that you remind yourself of that. Otherwise, honestly, you'll just self-sabotage until the end of time. Cause I think that's what a lot of it was too. Like I did it so much that I would almost procrastinate at sometimes too, just self-sabotage, thinking I couldn't do it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So uh, I mean, that's something I definitely struggle with as well. And through my business and learning how to like done is better than perfect. Like, if you know, a lot of people tell me with like social media that they're like, I struggle. I have like post-paralysis and like I don't know what to post, and I just feel like I'm getting in my own way. And I'm like, Yeah, you are getting your own way. Like it's never going to be perfect. Like, you're never gonna have the perfect shot or the perfect caption or the perfect reel that times perfectly with the music. Like, that's just not real. Yeah. And people honestly vibe more when you just show up authentically and genuinely.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Yeah. I've seen more progression in my life in general just by showing truly who I am. Cause I think too, like we especially growing up into adult and going through like 20s and 30s, like you almost go through something like the imposter syndrome, right? Like you're trying to adapt to the environment around you to try and like make yourself likable too, like, or at least that's what I do. So it's just like trying to navigate that as well, trying to find that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, like being a chameleon and like trying to like whenever you're around like a certain group, you kind of act a different way. That's something that I struggle with. And I I, you know, as I've as I've been able to find myself and like be more authentic in my own skin and know who I am. I think it was a lot of self-discovery I had to learn first because I didn't know who I was. So I was trying to wear all the hats and whatever vibe or group of people I was with, it was like whatever they were, I was gonna match that.
SPEAKER_02:For sure.
SPEAKER_01:And then, you know, through years of being able to like figure out who I am now, it's like, okay, I can realize when I'm doing it. Like I'll be in an environment. I'm like, oh, I think I'm like acting a certain way by trying to like fit in. And then I'm able to like kind of like cut it off and you know, step back into my authentic.
SPEAKER_00:I see that a lot too when it's like when you also see people like from your past who like know a different version of you too. I'm like, I feel like I have to adapt to that old version of me. And I'm like, that's not who I am anymore. Like, I'm a mom. I've literally have gone through the trenches of just life in general the last couple of years. So I'm just like adapting from that old person I was and not letting the people that I knew in the past hold me accountable to that version of myself instead of like getting to know like the new version of me, who's grown, who's done the work, stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And sometimes it feels like when you're trying to be your most authentic self around people who know you in a different version of yourself, you almost feel like you're gonna think that they're you're being an imposter. Exactly. Which is crazy because it's like, no, I'm actually just finally showing up as myself. You just don't know this version of me. So talk to me a little bit about what you've gone through in the last few years. So I know that you got pregnant with your beautiful son. Yeah, thank you. And um, you had some experiences happen. So talk to me a little bit first about your pregnancy. What was that experience like from because you were really super hardcore into the real estate? You had your own team.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but honestly, when I was nine months pregnant, I literally closed four deals, I think like a week before I delivered. Oh my gosh, that's crazy. Yeah. So it was just like popping off. Um, I did have the real estate team and it was honestly amazing. I actually um had a business partner and we had about 25 agents at the time. And then we decided to split off as time went on, and I actually had an all-women team. I had about eight women on my team, and honestly, it thrived for as long as possible. But I think after time I realized that this path wasn't for me, and like I had to sit the girls down and be like, hey, like it's time for me to find a different way. But I honestly think that that happened because everything that the universe was telling me that was coming. Because then right after that, right? Um, I ended up uh going for a presidency of Women's Council of Realtors Las Vegas. Shout out to them if they're shout out. Um but I ended up going for a presidency because I had to step down from my position that year because I got sick. But when I lost it, I was like, I was devastated. I was like, I don't know where because it was a big part of my life. I was like, I don't know what direction I'm gonna take now. I don't know if this is it for me. Like, do I quit real estate? Like it was just like a lot of things happen at once. And it honestly, like, I left that parking lot after I lost, and I just was bawling. I'm just like, I can't believe this actually happened. But then after finding out I got pregnant and then everything else that happened after, it was just like the universe was telling me that I needed to step back. And I think that was a big crush too. Like how you said, like, I was like the perfectionism of everything and climbing the ladder. When I finally got to the top, it was like I think the universe wanted to knock me down a little bit because all this stuff. Like there was like you need to slow down, you're going too fast, is how I felt the universe was kind of putting it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I can relate to that in a lot of ways. Like just feeling like you're pushing so hard, so hard. Um, because you know, I got pregnant when I was in the height of my so true with baby Aria. Yes. And that year 2023 like rocked me and shaked shaked me to my core. But there were so many lessons that I learned of how to continue business in the future with like keeping my priorities in line and my boundaries in line.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, boundaries are so important. That's a big thing too, especially because you're kind of like in the same business, me dealing with customers and stuff like that, clients. Right. It's sometimes they don't know the boundary when it comes to like hours or um asking certain questions. And like it's absolutely great that they do ask those questions and the time frames and stuff. But there's times where it's like they don't give us grace and it just could really like beat you down a little bit. You're just like, I'm doing everything I can for you, but I can't give so much if my cup's not even full. Like I can't give you everything if I can't even give myself something.
SPEAKER_01:So was the journey for you when you were able to step back? And obviously we'll we'll dive into a little bit about what happened, but I'm curious, like when did you learn and what was the process of you figuring out how to put yourself first?
SPEAKER_00:It's honestly just it's still kind of a learning curve for me now. Like it's like you always want to put like even two, like your specific and other or a significant other, if I can even speak, in front of yourself. You want to put like your kids in front of yourself, your work in front of yourself. And it's just like there's a time where you just like hit rock bottom and you're just like, this if I don't do things for myself, give myself grace, spend time with myself, self-reflect, like you literally will crash and burn. Like it, and then you're self-doubting yourself and just like hurting yourself internally too. Cause I mean, I've had some pretty negative thoughts through this whole entire process. And it's just sometimes you just have to learn to navigate that too and like ask for help. And I think that's a big thing for me is I never asked for help before. And now that I'm able to be like, hey, like I need help with this, or I need a little suggestion with this. And now it's like I feel like more balanced because I'm not putting everything on myself too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, learning how to delegate and learning that like it's actually a strength to be able to ask for help and that you're not supposed to handle it all on your own.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you're not weak. Yeah, that's the biggest thing. Is like I always thought that I was like weak for asking for help. And it's like, why did I have to feel that I need to be so strong for who?
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_00:So it's just like ultimately I'm who's left with myself at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And you want to feel comfortable in your own skin and know who you are and make sure that we're pouring into our significant other and our kids and our business and our clients from a full cup. And that means that we have to prioritize our relationship with ourselves, how we feel in our own body, um, what we're putting in our body, how we're consuming things, like even as far as like what are we watching on social media, like what shows are we watching? Like everything that we are taking in is a reflection of like who we are in the inside. And so getting those, you know, goals and those that lifestyle in alignment with like who you want to be. Um, so working out has been a huge thing for you.
SPEAKER_00:It has, yes, it's been fantastic for my mental health all the way around and physical health, of course. But I was getting to the point where certain things were happening, my anxiety was just like through the roof. And like after I had the baby, I was actually diagnosed with postpartum depression and like high functioning anxiety, right? Where like the doctor was like, Hey, like we're gonna put you on medication because it's gotten to the extreme. And I was like, to be honest, like, I feel like there's another avenue before I hit medication. So I was like, let me lock in on working out, let me focus on that. And when I tell you, like, I it's not a good day when I don't work out, just because like I need that release, I need that movement. I never thought I was gonna be that person to ever like lock in and work out, and it's been the most beneficial thing that I could have done for myself.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it's it's the same. I mean, that's kind of similar to my story. I got diagnosed with postpartum depression too, and they like offered me, you know, some medicine and all the candy in the world that we don't need. Yeah. And I was like, you know what? I think I'm gonna, it was really when things started to shift for me. And it's actually a week later I went on camera. So that's so much. Yeah, so that's kind of similar. Yeah. Um, so when you had your baby and sweet Milo was born, yeah. Um, you started to feel a little off. And maybe you were going through a little postpartum depression or some stuff was going on. But talk to me a little bit about the journey after you had Milo. What happened?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, a lot happened. So actually, right after a like it was probably like a month after I was eating uh oatmeal balls, and all of a sudden, like I felt like my lung was gonna collapse. Like I literally thought I could not breathe. Like, and I was like, and I have a pretty high pain tolerance all the way around. And I was like, babe, like I and I was talking to Rodrigo and I was like, I feel like I need to go to the hospital. He's like, if you need to go, go. And I was like, okay, well, you stay with Milo, because of course he was only a couple months old, and I was like, I'll literally drive myself to the hospital. I literally was swerving because I literally could barely even drive. I should have taken an ambulance, I really should have, but I wasn't just in so much pain. I get there and I look like a trash can when I get there, right? So like they thought I was maybe on drugs or whatever, because I was sitting there just like rocking my body.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, it came came out of nowhere, like came out of nowhere.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it was literally from the fat from the peanut butter or the oat, the almond butter that was just in those oat balls. It triggered my gallbladder. So when that happened, they ended up throwing me in like some coat closet in the back of the hospital, not doing anything. They're like sticking me with eight different times with an IV. They can't even get the IV in, and then they go and send me in for a scan. Another doctor comes in and he has like this big white coat on or whatever. He's like, Hey, like, I don't know if I should remove your gallbladder or if we should treat this mass on your kidney. And I was like, Mass on my kidney? What are you talking about? He's like, Yeah, you have a severe grade mass on your kidney. And I was just like, and I'm by myself. I'm like, I don't even know what to do. Like, it's two o'clock in the morning. Like, I don't even know if I should call my parents. I don't know if I should call Rigo back. I'm like blowing up his phone. And then they come in with like a whole EMT team, and like I'm in this closet, and the even the nurse didn't even have enough time to get my insurance. She was like, What are you guys doing? Like, where are you taking? And they're like, We have to take her to another hospital. Like, this is extreme. So, like, I literally got admitted into a hospital, I think I want to say it was Spring Valley. I got admitted over there, and they were like, Yeah, so we're gonna really think about your best options right now because you're in pain, you're gonna take out your gallbladder. Um, and then in a couple weeks, we're gonna have you probably come right back once you heal from that. Because I was still healing from my C-section. So I had my C-section scar and then I had my gallbladder removed. So I literally could like my stomach muscles were completely depleted. So like I could barely even stand, I couldn't even hold the baby. But when they did, yeah, it was devastating. So, of course, the first year I tell everyone was a complete blur. They're like, how was the newborn stage? How was the like just the normal milestones? I was like, I don't remember. I really just don't because it was I was trying to just get through like, you know, like with trauma and stuff like that, where you lose your memory with pieces of it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah too, because it's like a you're trying to like keep yourself alive. We blocked it. Survival, exactly. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And like I could have let that take me down, but I didn't. And I think that's a really big part, is just like the fact of just like keep going with everything. So then a couple months later, of course, that's like sitting so heavy on me. Like, because they waited from I want to say it was June all the way until September to physically remove half my kidney. So when they did that, that whole time, it's like the people around you too don't even realize like the toll that it takes on you. And like, I know I've showed you quotes and stuff like that too, but my favorite quote is when you're strong, act weak, when you're weak, act strong. At my weakest point, I had to act strong because even too, like my mom already thought I was in the ground. Like, and it was just like the saddest thing to see her face, see her crying. She's like pretty much thinking I'm dead already. And like to look at your own mom and be like, I'm not gone yet, but there's a chance that I could be. So you didn't mention like you were diagnosed with stage one renal carcinoma.
SPEAKER_01:Right. So a form of cancer. So they knew after they took the gold water out and that they had the masks.
SPEAKER_00:So they actually couldn't even tell me what the actual cancer was. But they knew it was cancer. They knew it was cancer.
SPEAKER_01:So you were struggling for like six months with a brand new baby, yeah, waiting for this mask to be taken out of you, knowing that you had cancer. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So it was like the just the mental toll it took, like not knowing what type of cancer it was. Has it spread? Where is it gone? Like it was just pretty much like a limbo period and just like a such a blur of where everything went. So they couldn't even diagnose it until it came out. So I was grateful that it was best case scenario, they were able to remove it completely. But if they weren't, if they removed it and then like my margins weren't clear, then that's when I would have to go through chemo and go through radiation. So my doctors were fantastic. Uh Dr. Lasani, he was phenomenal. But he was like, You literally could like if you did not get pregnant and you did not have Milo, you might not be here. Like he literally saved my life. And I'll say that, like, he's literally like my most precious thing in the entire world because he truly saved me in more ways than one. He made me like, even too, like with drinking and stuff like that, too. I was never like, of course, like toxic with it. I had like my toxic moments, of course. Yeah. And I take full accountability for that. But it was such a hindrance in my life where it wasn't benefiting me at all. I would literally get those like drunken slew in the morning. Like, what did I do? What did I say? What did I regret? Like all those things. I was like, enough's enough. And like Milo was the fighting force. Like, I was like, I have to be better for him. I have to be better for my family, I have to be better for everybody around me. So it was just like that, it was a huge life-changing experience. So how you say 23 rocked you, 23 rocked me.
SPEAKER_01:I know it was the same year. Same year, yeah, it was. Yeah. So I had done, so Katie was my first ever photo shoot client. Well, technically not my client. I was like, model for me, please. Um, but it was like shortly after that, right? Because you you weren't pregnant yet. No. So uh we did our first photo shoot, and then you got pregnant like what, like right after? Because remember, you texted me, you're like, I'm pregnant. Yeah, we need to set up announcements.
SPEAKER_00:Shortly after for sure. We actually, I funny enough, it was my birthday 2022. I know the exact day, which I shouldn't know, but I do know it was the exact day. Oh, that you that was really the day we conceived. Oh, well, for we love that.
SPEAKER_01:We love that for you. So that was it. Yeah, so um, yeah, your whole life changed radically. You got pregnant and then obviously went through all of these experiences with medical issues, and Milo, I mean, changed your life.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, he's incredible. The best thing that could have happened to me for sure. And the funny part is I told Rodrigo forever, I was like, I don't want kids. I really don't, I don't see them in my future. Like my career's popping off. I'm doing so many things, but I honestly think too, he was brought here to slow me down. Like he was also brought here to bring out different joys of my life. Because growing up, I was never around kids at all either. Like it was literally just my mom, me, my sister, and my dad. So having just such like a tiny you know, I was like, I don't see myself being around kids. And then, of course, being with Rodrigo, he's got this huge family of kids. So, like having like all those kids around and growing with them, I was like, I still don't even know. Like it's just so up in the air. So when it happened, I was like, this is happening for a reason, and it's happening for the best ways to honor. In so many ways.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, it's crazy how that experience shaped you.
SPEAKER_00:He's the best.
SPEAKER_01:Well, thanks for sharing, of course.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks. What's your favorite part about being a mom? I think seeing everything through his eyes, like seeing everything the first time. Because my biggest thing is like, what's gonna end up being a core memory? And I say that all the time with kids. I'm just like, is that gonna be a core memory? Do you think? Like, yeah, can we remind them later? Is that the core memory? So, like trying to see that happen. I'm just like, I don't know. Like, we go to the aquarium, I'm just like, is he gonna remember the fish? Like, and I'm just like, that's sad, it's because he's not gonna remember, but it's just living those moments again through his eyes. Cause of course we probably did that when we were little and we got to feel like the joys of everything. So that's my favorite part for sure.
SPEAKER_01:But I love doing that. We like to play that game too. Like, is this the core memory? Is this the one? Is this the way?
SPEAKER_00:Of course, it's gonna be like the injury or something that's gonna be the core memory instead of being like the pretty fish.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah, it's usually the trauma that sticks with us the longest. But it's okay. We can we can pretend it's the aquarium, right? Um, so yeah, when I had asked you um ahead of time, like a quote that you live by, you mentioned um when you're strong, act weak, and when you're weak, act strong. Um, but another quote that you wrote was anything you are not willing to change, you are choosing. Facts, yeah. Yeah, and I'd like for you to dive a little bit deeper on that. Like, what do you mean when you're not willing to change something? Because a lot of times people are like, you know, I can't do this because of this. Yeah, you can I can't change this because I have this situation, this experience, or I have this thing holding me back. And we all of the excuses that we have in the book are valid. Like we can validate everything, yeah. But when you're not gonna change something, that is a choice you are making because everything is figure outable. So talk to me a little bit about why that's your favorite quote.
SPEAKER_00:I think because uh I was one of those people that was like I'm not gonna change because of this reason. And I think that eventually I had to be like, you know what? Like you're really making these choices. Like, if you don't want to work out, that's your choice. If you don't want to stop drinking, that's your choice. If you don't want to start doing certain activities or be in the right spaces, like that is your choice. But ultimately we're brought these choices to uh elevate our lives, you know what I mean? So it's like we get invited to things or whatever. We're like, no, like I'm not gonna go. Like I feel uncomfortable, but it's like the universe is bringing that to you, being like, okay, here's a door. You either walk through or you don't. So it's like if you don't take those choices, then you're not gonna ever grow. And then the actual changing aspect of it is if you're not uh changing, uh you're dead. Like if you're not changing, you're growing, you're gone.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Because you're just like staying in like that stagnant state of like no growth whatsoever. And like that's what we're here for. We're here to grow, we're here to fail, we're here to dive deep into things, and it's just I don't know. I think people stay so if it sounds so bad, but stay so small-minded in their world that they have so much potential to be so much greater than they are. But because of the choices that they're making, the changes they're not willing to make, uh that's the choice that they're kind of diving into.
SPEAKER_01:So yeah, I mean it is, it's always a choice, and um, you know, there's so many things that can hold us back if we let them. You know, you get to decide how you want to live your life, and there's no excuse big enough that's gonna keep you from chasing your dreams. Like, even that excuse, as big as it is, there's a way to figure it out for sure.
SPEAKER_00:And like a good example of that is like when everything did happen, right? I could have just been like, you know what, I'm done. I'm done with real estate, I'm done with everything. I could have jumped off a cliff at that point, if I'm being completely honest, because that's where my head was at. Like, I was in a pretty dark space. And I was like, you know what? Like, no, that's not where this story ends. Like, I know for a fact if I do not change my mindset right now, that is my choice. If I stay in this negative state, I will forever be that woe is me, pick me, whatever it is. But if I don't make the choice right now and make the change, then I'm just gonna be stuck here forever. So it's just like having also to that positive mindset to be like, I can change, and it's my choice, right?
SPEAKER_01:Victimhood is so comfortable.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, facts.
SPEAKER_01:You know, being a victim and not taking responsibility for your life is easier than actually showing up and doing the hard things. Um so I'm glad that you didn't let victimhood kind of take over your life because in that situation you totally could have.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. For sure.
SPEAKER_01:Feeling completely rocked and being brought literally face down on the floor. But at that point, you could either stay there and get nice and cozy or you could have looked up and chosen to ride the wave back up and you did.
SPEAKER_00:And I think another good example of that too is like even like the drinking, right? Because I could have been like, you know what, let me stay in this whole negative way of thinking and everything too. Like, if I did not change the drinking part of it too, like I probably would have been in a lot worse place than I am right now for sure, because I would have just like drunk myself into a slumber.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:So it's just I think too, taking of those pieces out that could be like literally just change the trajectory of your life. It's uh a big deal.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely. So uh what has the experience been like for you not drinking? So when did you make that choice to be sober?
SPEAKER_00:I think it was March 2022, no, March 24, actually. Uh last year. Yeah, last year. Okay. I think is that right? Yeah, that's not right. It's been a little over a year. I think I'm coming up on two years right now in March. Yeah. So I can't get the years right. Anywho, right. But yeah, so I made that to choice, and it literally was just like one day I was like, yeah, I can't do this anymore. Like I was making like really not even bad decisions. I was just like not taking accountability for the actions I was doing when I was drinking, uh which happens too. So I was just it's easy to do. Yeah. So I'm like, what do you mean I did that? And so it's seeing that and being like, you know what, like I'm gonna take accountability and be like, you know what, this isn't a good thing for me. It's not good for the people around me. So I'm just not gonna do it anymore.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:That was a big change choice for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I mean, it's a whole lifestyle shift and it affects like your whole health. And so that you've had like this, you know, you were diagnosed with cancer and you were in postpartum depression, and then you were able to pick yourself back up and really focus on your health. And, you know, quitting drinking was a decision that you felt like helped empower you to do those things. So in what other ways? I know working out, like you what are you doing with your diet? Like, because you've had like a major transformation. For sure. You look seriously insane.
SPEAKER_00:What are you doing? Tell me. So mainly whole foods is the biggest thing for me. I don't eat pretty much anything processed at all anymore. So it's got to have ingredients that I can understand on the back completely, or it's gotta be literally from the ground. Um, it can't be like any kind of like processed meats and stuff, because that of course takes a huge toll, especially with having cancer and stuff. I took it head on. I was like, you know what? Like, I'm gonna change my whole diet because ultimately I want to be around for Milo. Yeah. So I was like, I want to get my health in check, I want to get my diet in check, and then eventually teach him that this is a normal lifestyle. Because growing up, I didn't have that. It was like we ate like what is it, white bread with like the worst butter you possibly could, and like hamburger helper and all those things like that. So it's like all those things are so processed, and like I don't want to have Milo oring that, especially because now we don't know where this cancer came from. We don't have a history of it in our family. So I'm like, is it from the food? So if it is from the food or if it is genetics, I want Milo to at least have the best outcome possible.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and then we're just teaching him how to live a healthy lifestyle and like like wise choices. Um, I feel like as like there's more information, we have access to the internet and we kind of understand a little bit more about like our health and you know, the what processing of foods actually looks like. Yeah. Um, I think a lot of people are trying to like make better choices and you know, eat more whole foods and like, you know, maybe lean more towards organics because I mean, you actually look at the data, it's pretty insane what they do to our food.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And honestly, like just even go to the grocery store sometimes. I'm like, I literally ate this all the time. I look at the back and it has 50 ingredients. I don't even understand. It's got every gum underneath the sun. I'm like, I can't believe I was eating this regularly. Like, this is like putting it in my body. So, like, could that have been the cause? I don't know, but it's just like I'm not taking that chance for sure.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And so, I mean, obviously, these are things that you weren't taught. So, was it the, you know, being diagnosed with renal carcinoma that kind of made you like open your eyes? Definitely.
SPEAKER_00:It was a wake up call for sure. Cause I'm just like, obviously, I'm like I've lost the 60 pounds, but it's just like having all that weight on me too, like that's not genetics, that's just unhealthy lifestyle. And it's just adapting from what I was taught. Like, I would literally eat, and a lot of people know me from this season of life, I would have chipotle three times a day. And I don't mean like a healthy chipotle, I would have it where it was like the rice, the cheese, the everything. I'm just like, I'm filling my body with all the stuff that it was just taking such a toll on my body. Yeah. So it's just having all that stuff. I'm just like, I can't do this anymore.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And when you say weight, because sometimes we obviously we think physical weight. Yes. But talk to me about the energetic weight that you felt from carrying all those extra pounds around.
SPEAKER_00:To be honest, I don't really know. Like with like the actual like energy wise, like I just felt like I was always just trying to just get by day by day. Like I was literally just like, let me just eat this to feel better. So like I would literally get like the high from eating it. You know what I mean? So I didn't really have like a energy with the weight on, but when the weight came off is when I felt the energy shift. Like I was literally so in like a numb state when the weight was all on. Like I was illusional. I literally would look in the mirror and be like, I look fantastic. And I'm like, there's no way. Like I have all this internal, external baggage on me, and I'm just like literally just eating my feelings at this point.
SPEAKER_01:That's more what I'm talking about.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, gotcha. Okay.
SPEAKER_01:Not about like energy, like how is your energy? I'm talking about like sometimes, you know, the physical body or the physical experience of your life is a reflection of what's going on on the inside.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, for sure. Okay. Then yeah, definitely at that point, I was just eat just to I would celebrate something and eat. I would get sad and then eat. And like I would literally just like shove my face in. Like I would eat at like 10 o'clock at night and just like binge eat like crazy. And like I still have my moments of binging and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_01:I mean, yeah, we we all do.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, right. Like I find like healthier ways to do it now, but it would be the point where I would just like feel so sick at the end. I'm like, I can't believe I just did that to myself and just like that. I guess you can say like that energy of just like having that be like like that self-sabotage, like knowing it's not right for me, but continuing to do it because in the moment it feels good, like almost like that instant gratification of just like it makes me feel better now, but ultimately it led me to have all these different health concerns. So it's just I guess alleviating that was like a big part.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Um yeah, I wanted to talk a little bit about showing up on socials because I know that you are absolutely amazing and you have been super consistent and you throw up show your authentic self and you're super genuine and you like, I mean, your business thrives and you push really hard on socials. So I wanted to talk about what that looks like for you of staying consistent, stop worrying about what other people think and just post it. Yeah, progress over perfection. And how are you able to be so successful on social media?
SPEAKER_00:I think the biggest thing is not getting your own way because I see it where people are like, I only got 300 views, I only got 400 views. I'm like, imagine standing in a room with 300 people. I love that one. I love when people say that. Yeah. So like when you have all these people, it's like, imagine talking to that many people. Like you barely get in a room with 10 people, you know what I mean? So it's like, even if it's 300 views, it's still 300 views that you're touching. And even if you impacted one person out of those 300 views, that's still an impact. So just making sure like I keep that mindset and being like the vulnerable self. Like sometimes I really dive deep into that side of things just because people are going through the same things I'm going through, and we don't have to hold it all in at the same time. So, like, as long as I'm like making sure like I'm front face with that and like truthfully sticking with the authentic side of that, because I have times too where I've archived posts or like I've deleted posts because I'm just like, that didn't feel right. That didn't feel like me. It's not gonna do well. And I'm like, why am I thinking like that when I could literally just like post and be like, you know what? Like that's who I am, that's what I want to post. So right.
SPEAKER_01:And just getting out of your own way. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:So that's the biggest thing is getting out of your own way.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I I think that social media is such an interesting thing because a lot of people, especially when you're trying to show up like a business side of it, they're like, oh, you it needs to be polished, it needs to be curated. It's like, you know, don't show too much of your personality or show too much of your personality. It's just like you hear so many mixed things. And um, I've found it, at least in my business, and it sounds like with you too, is like showing up authentically and genuinely and being like who you are in everyday life on social media. Like that's how your clients are gonna find you and resonate with you. Like, I have people tell me all the time, I'm like, why'd you hire me? Where'd you find me? And they're like, honestly, I looked at your stuff and I just thought, like, she's gonna be a cool person to hang out with all the time.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, incredible on there.
SPEAKER_01:I literally watched it, just like sharing it, liking it all the time. I love your stuff.
SPEAKER_00:I love you.
SPEAKER_01:Um, yeah, and I've I've found success for me personally in my brand is being very personable and showing who I am so that people know what they're getting on the day of their wedding. And um, it seems to be working for me, and it seems to be working for you too. Definitely, yeah. So do you encourage, because I know that you are on a team now, right? Yeah, so and you have work with still a lot of women, right? So, all women team? No, we have a mix of everybody. Okay, yeah, but you guys do like a really good job of kind of showing up on socials, right? Is that something like that? Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, my my team lead Jillian. I don't know if you've ever seen her stuff, but she is incredible on all her socials, and like I think too, like she's a really good role model when it comes to like being your authentic self. Cause like what you see on her videos is like literally what you see in person too. Yeah. So like just kind of showing up like that, being like, you know what? Like, she gets so much business from just being truly 100% her because I am some of my videos, too. You can kind of tell, like, I'm kind of hiding some pieces and showing some pieces, but with her specifically, she literally just completely shines out. So honestly, following by her example too, she's incredible.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So, but like with real estate, yeah, because like some people would say, like, oh, like you don't want to show your authentic self because you're doing real estate, you're selling houses. Yeah. But like what do you think about like selling yourself as a part of your business, even though it's like you're selling houses, like selling yourself and not in the ways of like you're selling yourself, but more like you're showing people who you're working with and that they would why they would want to choose you, because there's a million real estate agents out there. So like being yourself, even though like it's not necessarily a personal brand, it's real estate. Yeah. But you being able to put your best self forward and be yourself in front of all of these potential clients. Do you think that that like brings more traffic your way? Like, do people ever tell you, like, oh, I just really like vibe with your personality all the time?
SPEAKER_00:Like, and I hate it where people were like, I literally found your video and I just loved your stuff. So like that's why we're talking and stuff. Or I have people like from like the past who are just like, hey, like I honestly would probably never even know you still existed. But now that you're posting stuff and you're still you, like, I would love to work with you. So I do have that a lot too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, that's that's awesome. Um, I always try to encourage people to just like get out of your own way, just post it.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. Stop everything, just get it up there. Cause honestly, like going back to like the whole like progress and perfection, like literally just get it out there. Ultimately, my biggest thing too is everyone's gonna judge you, no matter if you post the content or don't post the content. Like it does not matter. You're gonna get judged no matter what. So why not just post because that's what you want to do? Who cares what people think at that point? Because I think we also get a lot of our heads too of caring too much what people think.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I mean, a hundred percent. I think that that's something, especially women that we like all deal with for sure. Um, because I mean, and then in the age of social media is like, you know, you're comparing the comparison trap will get you every time, and you're like, oh, well, this person's doing it this way, and they're seeming like they got revolt results, and I don't know if I want to show up this way because this person over here, and it's just like I sometimes find myself afraid to post, like especially when I was first starting my business. Yeah, I'd really get out of my own way because I was like, I'm afraid what Joe from fucking third grade, who still follows me on my Instagram, is gonna think about me on a little side hustle. It's like, what the fuck is wrong with me? Like, why am I thinking about that random, you know, human or like whoever it'll be? It's just like, why are we even like letting our minds go to that place? And how can we shift out of that to just post the content?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. I think this whole shift I think would happen when people are just like, just get it out there. Like Lily, just how we keep going back to getting out of your own way. Like, it's just getting it out there and just making sure like that ultimately it's what you want to do. That's what your heart wants you to do. Just get it out. That's the biggest thing.
SPEAKER_01:Uh, so you and Rigo have been together for how long? 15 years. 15 years. My baby. Oh my god. And you started dating at what age?
SPEAKER_00:I want to say I was 17 and he was 18 at that point. It might be 18, 19, but we were like right there.
SPEAKER_01:And you guys met in high school, right? We did, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:We actually met at like a church event where I don't know if you heard of it, but cops and robbers. Have you heard of it?
SPEAKER_01:Oh my god, I remember I played that game with you one time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So like it was like a whole school event, and we had it where it was like the church and stuff was doing a collaborative. So it was like at Green Valley, and we're literally like running through the parks or whatever. It's honestly the funniest story, but I was running away from something and he had just hurt his knee in soccer, but I somehow, some way got stabbed in the eye with a stick with a tree. So I literally could not see. And he literally was right there behind me. He's like, Are you okay? And of course that's just Rego, he's just such a nice person. But he literally was like, Okay, let me walk you back and stuff. So we walked together, and that's when we just like met. And then after that, I was kind of like, Do you want to hang out? Do you want to do this? And then funny enough, our first kiss was actually atrocious. Like it was the worst thing that could have ever possibly happened. Like, I literally texted him, I was like, Why didn't we hook up? And he literally, yeah, it was bad. And then he literally texted me to go to the park, and then we went and literally we collided, and he literally licked my face. Like we talk about it to this day, and it'll he'll his story's a little bit different than mine, but uh, ever since, like, we've literally been stuck at the hip. You actually told me that story. Yeah, it's so funny, but he's the best. And then we actually dated for a little bit. We went to prom twice together, but the first time we went to prom, we broke up for like six months. And when we broke up, I saw him at another party because he already graduated high school. I saw him there and he hated my guts. He was with one of his friends. His friend could not stand. He's like, You're not even talking to her, don't even look her way. Like, that's not happening.
SPEAKER_01:So this was after you dated and broke up. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:So we dated for a little bit and then we broke up for the six months. And then when I saw him at that party, I texted him and I was like, Can you meet me outside? I need to talk to you. He's like, I don't want to see you, I don't want to do anything to do with you. And I was like, No, I don't think so. So I was like, just seriously, come meet me outside. And his friend was like, I'm not letting you go. He ends up coming outside, and I was like, I want to be with you. Like, I saw you tonight, like I'm literally struck. And he literally looked me down in my eyes and he's like, You either be with me or be without me, but you're gonna tell me right now. And I was like, I want to be with you, and we have literally been together every day since.
SPEAKER_01:Wow, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's that's my best.
SPEAKER_01:It's not often that like those high school relationships work out. Yeah, what has the process been like for you guys growing together instead of growing apart?
SPEAKER_00:I think the biggest thing is growing together is because we've been through every season together. We've truthfully been through a lot. And I just think to forgiveness with a lot of things because we we've both made some pretty hefty mistakes that like I don't know, young kids make. Like we get in big fights, and it's like those fights where you're just like, I don't think we're gonna come back from this. Yeah. But I think too just like having that grace with each other, and like truthfully, he's one of the most incredible people I've ever met in my entire life. So just like him too, like, and of course, uh he's grown me into the woman that I am. I truthfully can give him of huge credit to that. Of course, like I've had my own journey, but he's a big part of that. That if he didn't give me those graces, I honestly don't know. Like he was there through some pretty traumatic, even family stuff too, and just like being like that fighting force for me. So I think forgiveness, grace, just loving relationship too, like just being able to listen, communicate, because we communicate a lot too.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, open communication, yeah. Um, being okay, being wrong, yeah, and being able to say yeah, yeah. I mean, especially like when you're so young, you know, it sounds like you guys have really grown together and you've been able to develop like better habits as you guys have gotten older, of being able to communicate effectively and efficiently and um being honest and being willing to be wrong. I think that a lot of times our ego gets in the way of making, you know, a relationship or a marriage work because we want to be right so bad and it's so hard because we feel like we're letting ourselves down or like just because you may have done something wrong and you did, you know, you need to be able to apologize and own up to it. Like it doesn't mean that like your feelings weren't valid in the moment. Like it's okay, but like you have to be willing to like drop the ego for a second, like put your marriage first and say, okay, like I made a mistake, I'm willing to own up to it. Like taking accountability is huge, not only in like your personal life, but and just yourself, but with your partner. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I think a big thing too is like when you have the death of an ego, like, because I was I'm Leo, true and true. My ego was bigger than anybody's could ever imagine. And like that got me truthfully where I am today, when even with business and everything like that, too. But the moment I had that death of an ego, like it was just like, holy cow, like you could really step back and be like, wow, like this decision could have been done completely different, or I could have acted this way different because I was just so how you said, like proving something wrong or trying to prove yourself right. Like, what was the point if you know for a fact like you were in the wrong and you need to take accountability for that and just do that self-work on it too? But I pride myself on the whole death of an ego thing because my ego was astronomical. It was bad.
SPEAKER_01:When did your ego die?
SPEAKER_00:Honestly, I would say probably after becoming a mom. Like I was like the actual final death of it. Like I started to see a little bit of it when I lost the presidency and stuff like that too. Cause I always thought I was the best. Like, and I always, I mean, that's a good healthy habit. For sure.
SPEAKER_01:There's healthy like ego. Like, there's good ways that it can like empower you to be like the best version of yourself and like chase after your dreams and like go after your goals. Like it there's healthy ego for sure, but like sometimes there's a fine line and you can get toxic real fast.
SPEAKER_00:And I was getting on like that line of toxic. And I literally was stuck in that for probably the most of my 20s. And then I started to realize like this ego is killing relationships, it's killing family stuff, it's it's hurting me more than it's benefiting me. So, like the moment of having that death of an ego is like the whole universe will shift.
SPEAKER_01:And so you're able to like kind of find your authentic self through letting that version of you die. Yeah, for sure. So when you talk about going through this experience where you were really able to look at your life, take accountability, and make different mindful changes so that you can be the best version of yourself. Um, cutting out toxic energy, cutting out toxic people. Uh, sometimes that's really hard to do. For sure. For a lot of people, you know, that's one of those big excuses that we have is like, oh, well, if I do this or if I make this change, I'm gonna lose this relationship.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Especially when it comes to like blood and stuff like that, too. Because sometimes the most toxic people in your life are the people who are the closest to you. Yes. And it's just gotten to the point where it's like, if you're not healthy for me in any aspect, like blood or not, I'm sorry, but you cannot, it's at least gonna be at a distance, but a good portion of my life, you're not gonna be a part of.
SPEAKER_01:So like creating boundaries. And are you like setting expectations of like this is what I will tolerate? Like, because we teach people how to treat us. So when you're making those decisions to cut people out of your life or at least hold better boundaries for yourself, you're showing yourself love. It people think sometimes that boundaries are like disrespectful to people. And I'm like, no, I'm actually respecting you more by creating a boundary in my life that respects me. In return, it respects you, and everybody's happy because my like I'm teaching you how to treat me. Yeah. And if I don't set this clear boundary, it's not to insult you. Yeah, it's to make hurt you or anything.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So you went through that with family? I went through with family, I went through with friends, and like I've cut off some pretty serious relationships in my life that I'm just like, I, and even too, like, there's some even like extremely close to me where I'm like, I can't even have you around my son. Like, I there's no way, like, I've let you stomp all over me for so long and not set that boundary with you. But with him, it's gonna be a mandatory thing. So it's like I've really had to really cut out and like distance myself from a lot of really close people in my life. Like, I've lost a lot of people who I would consider friends because of the fact they're just not good for me, they're not good for my mental health, they're not good for a lot of different things. Like, if that's what I'm saying. Like, I go like an almost like in a chameleon state to try and give them a version where I think that they'll like me or whatever, but it just why would that benefit me at all? Like, I'm trying to keep the peace or keep myself small for you, and that's just out of the kind of thing.
SPEAKER_01:I love that you said that. How often did you keep yourself small in relationships with people?
SPEAKER_00:Oh, for sure. I would dim my light all day long, just like I don't know, I would shrink myself to make people feel more comfortable. Like, and I think a good example of this is with women to like be like, I'm not gonna wear something because this person's not gonna dress a certain way. Like, that's like a very, very small scale. Like, I'll be like, I want to go full glam.
SPEAKER_01:No, that's a great, that's a great example though. Because I think a lot of women, it's like, how often are like our friend, what are you wearing? Like you know, you're about to go to lunch. Like, what are you wearing? You're dressing up, you're dressing down. And it's like, just do what you want to do. Like, you know, and not to say that, like, I mean it's totally okay. Like, someone isn't gonna ask. You know, like we all like, if we're gonna all glam up, let's all glam up together. But it's like having the authenticity and the power and who you are to like, you don't actually have to ask your girlfriend who you're going to lunch with what they're wearing, because like you're gonna wear whatever you want and feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. Yeah. So it's like such a small example, but like you stepping into your power is not having to have that question anymore.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. And like, too, and like a big time in the real estate world too, like that we dress up, we dress down, stuff like that. I would walk into rooms and be like, Why are you dressed like that? Like, why are you dressed up? And it's just like they were even trying to dim my own light. And it's like I wasn't realizing, like, okay, let me dress down next time. Oh, so they were asking you, why aren't sometimes, yeah, I would have that too.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I'm like, I was like, you were going in there and asking them why they weren't dressed in the house. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Kitty.
SPEAKER_00:No, but I would literally like let's just say I was wearing like uh high heels and technically let's say I was wearing this, they'd be like, Why are you so dressed up? And like I would literally go next time in like jeans or a big t-shirt or like it would just be something so small.
SPEAKER_01:You're dimming your light. Exactly. People feel comfortable.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. And like people pleasing me, like, let me just shrink myself a little bit more just to make you feel more comfortable. And I just got to the point where I was like, Yeah, there's that's not happening anymore.
SPEAKER_01:So and especially in business, I feel like you want to dress how you like the people you want to attract and the clients that you want to have. So if like you're trying to, you know, attract a luxury client or like have a luxury brand, like you want to represent yourself as such. Um, that's something that I think I struggle with a little bit because like, you know, behind the camera, I'm like, I'm not the one being photographed. So it's like I'll show up in like jeans and a t-shirt and no makeup most of the time. Initially. But, you know, and like for weddings and like elopements, there's like, you know, there's a thing in my industry where it's like if you're shooting a wedding, the photographer um should be wearing vendor black. It's like a thing. Like everyone should be wearing vendor black. Um, and I like can understand that to a degree, especially for like those really high-end luxury weddings. Yeah. But I just don't vibe with it. And it's not a part of my brand. So it's like even when I show up to a really nice wedding that's like planned by a planner and it's like maybe they're telling everybody to wear vendor black, I'm like, you know what? Like my client actually like found me. They vibe with my stuff, they vibe with my personality. Like, I'm gonna wear something that shows my true colors, who I really am. I'm gonna look professional. I'm not saying like, you know, look like shit. Yeah. But I am saying, like, you can show up authentically and still attract, you know, those people.
SPEAKER_00:You're gonna attract the right people because you're showing up as your authentic self is the biggest thing. Because I think too, like when we switch to that side, you're like not even attracting the people that you want around you. And so that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I feel like we have covered everything that I wanted to chat with you about today. Yeah. I'm super, super grateful that you were willing to come on and be my first interviewee and um kind of just start off this journey since you were my first photography client. Oh, yeah. I thought it was really cool that you would be my first focus on the good. I'm so grateful to be here too.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm so proud of even seeing your journey and stuff too. I think that's a really big testament to see the podcast, everything too. Like I'm just I love watching you grow and I love watching all your success. So it's been phenomenal. I'm happy to be here.
SPEAKER_01:I know we've just been cheering each other on for years. Love it. It's crazy.
SPEAKER_00:And I'll continue to cheer you on.
SPEAKER_01:Um, well, yeah, thank you for joining and tuning into another episode of Folks on the Good. Again, um, Katie Chaffin, you can find her on Instagram, Real Estate with Katie, and in the show notes. Um, I'm gonna have my husband over there. He's gonna make sure that all that's detailed out. And uh, you can find her, follow along. She's seriously such a bright light on Instagram and social media in general. She shows up and she shows her authentic self and she just absolutely kills it in her industry. So follow along and um we'll be chatting with you guys soon. Thanks for coming to focus on good.